I am not naturally inclined to exercise.  I have let many gym memberships expire, and when I see someone out for a run, my feelings run the gammit from pity to envy.  Pity, because they’re running and we all know the hell that that can be, and then envy, because they are actually out there doing it and so I assume to them it is not hell.  This person may experience the unambiguous runners high, they may even be enjoying themselves.  

Those runners you see out in the cold, rain, early mornings, or even snow--they aren’t running out of some obligation to exercise, or because a magaizine made the suggestion, they aren’t even running to fit into their skinny jeans.  They run because they have to, because they don’t feel whole without it, because how they feel when they run or after they run is worth all the pain and energy of getting out there.

Those runners have connected with their WHY.

A friend sent this link to me when I first started to write from a more personal place (thanks Paul!).  This was when I started to look at the areas of my life where I wanted to connect more deeply with why.  What was my motivation in doing, well, everything?

Turns out for a long time a big “motivator” for me was I should.  And how was that working for me?  Ummmm.  Big flop.  When I began to connect to the feelings that what I want could evoke, I was much more motivated, and when I actually started to experience those feelings, then WOW.  Success.

Though not naturally inclined to jump on a treadmill, I do find that when I move my body I get ideas.  My brain is stimulated in a way it isn’t when I sit still.  It helps me declutter my otherwise overstimulated brain.  I also love the flush feeling in my cheeks and the burning feeling of fresh air in my lungs.  This is what moves me.  This is my why. (and just to be clear you still won’t see me running, but I like to move)

Why do you do what you do, when you do, what you do?

If you want to lose weight, exercise more, play the guitar, learn a language, eat well, start a yoga practice, nurture relationships, fall in love (etc etc etc), start with why.

Also take a note from the runners: Do what makes you feel whole.  Do what you can’t not do.  Start there.  Find what else can evoke those feelings.  Stop doing the rest.

Another quick story...

When I first started Health Coaching I loved doing it, but I was disconnected from my motivation or the WHY.  If I wasn’t careful I’d start doubting health coaching’s neccessity or helpfulness to my clients.  Noone wants to work with a coach who doubts what they’re coaching right?! 

During this time I went to see the movie Milk, about the gay right’s activist Harvey Milk.    Harvey Milk was uber passionate, fearless, motivated (connected to his why), and was making a huge difference in the country for the lives of gay men and women.  Throughout the entire movie I beat myself up.  What the hell was I doing helping people lose weight?  How was this helping our country?  Ugh, you should have heard the self doubt and criticism flowing through my brain while enjoying this beautiful movie.  I somehow made a movie about Harvey Milk’s successes and passions, about my own shortcomings as a motivator.

I felt super low...and then came the movie's epilogue:  

Harvey Milk was assasinated by a man named Dan White.  Dan White was acquitted of his conviction through the use of the Twinkie Defense.  I’m not even kidding.  His lawyers claimed a consumtion of junk food fueled an already unstable man, and made him crazy enough to shoot Milk in cold blood.  And therein lied my why. 

Connecting with why has made the self doubt dissapate.  I am such a better coach because of it.  Connect with what motivates you and you will succeed.