Michael Jackson sang about being BAD.  In his Bad video he shows us what bad looks like to him—it looks a little ridiculous, especially I'm sure, to those that actually acheive bad.  But what Michael displayed in that video, and in his life, is that bad comes in all shapes and sizes.  Michael's song BAD, was on one of the few 45’s I owned before 45’s became obsolete.  And so I think in some way it shaped me, like all music has the ability, and my view of being bad (ass).

I was at a baby shower for one of my oldest and dearest friends this past weekend, and I was surprised at the amount of times I heard “Persephone!” exclaimed at something that I had said.  I am most comfortable with these friends and so I guess I tend to act a little more rambunctious than expected in their company.  But this is me, and I couldn’t understand what was so effing shocking (?).

As you can tell, by me liberate use of the term “effing”, I am a good girl for all sense and purposes.  I don’t have any tattoos.  I try to put things back as I found them.  I eat well.  Feel guilty when I don’t get outside on a nice day.  I like to drink beer and wine, but not too much.  I always take into consideration how the other person is feeling.  I apologize, perhaps too often.   Send thank you cards.  Call my mom.  Re-use and recycle.  Shut lights off.  Brush and water pick regularly.  Pay for lunch.  Silence my phone.  Make Christmas gifts.  Allow cars to merge.  Wait for the walk signal.  Et cetera et cetera et cetera.  

But there is another side.  There always is. We are like onions after all, are we not?  Layers and layers.  Some stinky, some sweet, some make you cry.

We live in a culture of good and bad and we are quick to label things as such.  We also love to point fingers and no matter how bad we are, we always try to show our good side.  We list good and bad actions, good and bad words, good and bad foods. With the list of goods and bads, come the list of I know I shoulds.  That’s a lot of fricken pressure and have you seen what that pressure is doing to us?

Shit, we need to tend to our bad sides. 

When I don’t tend to my bad side I miss all the fun of being bad and instead weave it throughout my day in boring little, half-assed, mediocre ways.  Sprinkle of bad here--  sprinkle of bad there.  Boring. Boring. Boring.  I miss the JOY of it, and I’m actually being bad in ways that are counter productive.

Counter productive boring Bad-ness

• Ignore emails
• Drink coffee In the afternoon
• Put lots of cheese on everything
• Read crappy magazines (ie: see above)
• Swear in front of my two year old (with my fingers crossed)
• Scour Facebook (and for what?)
• Not drink water
• Skip teeth brushing before bed
• Talk about people
• Buy another cheap shirt
• Eat copious amounts of __________

When we don't tend to our bad side we can also pay for it down the line: cue the 50 something man with the arm band tattoo, or the 60 something woman in the leapard jeggings.  Let's tend to our naughty gardens now people (!) and in a sexy, healthy, productive, concious way.

Be Bad, Be Happy.  Be Bad, Lose Weight.  Be Bad, Be Calm. Be Bad, Be Balanced.

5 Ways to Feel BAD

1. Have chocolate and peanut butter for breakfast.

I know this is no garbage tipping in the subway, but when we give ourselves this allowance first thing in the morning, it is pretty flipping freeing.  And we can do this in a concious, healthy way, one that is not counter productive. 

Hemp Protein Chocolate Smoothie

1 banana

2 Tbl Trader Joes Chocolate Hemp Protein

1/2 cup almond milk

1 Tbl peanut butter

1/2 cup ice

         2.  Dance your effing face off

Folk music is what you will hear if you enter my house.  Pandora makes sure Chopper and I mix it up, otherwise it would be the same 4 or 5 folk musicians playing.  This is so nice.  Our home feels so peaceful.  But sometimes you just need to dance your fucking face off.  When I feel like I might drink too much on a Monday night, I pull out my dirtiest dance music and shake my butt.

        3.  Talk about Sex

NO PHOTO AVAILABLE

We hardly talk about it right?  I have a few friends that when we get together the voodoo topic can be breached without hearing "Persephone!"  And it feels so good to talk about something so real and so human.  When I don't get that chatty, giggly, omg face time, I listen or read my dear dear friend (though he doesn't know it)  Dan Savage and I feel sexy, like an adult, and ready for ahem, anything.

        4.  Tell the Truth (isn't this being good?)

Sometimes being honest means being bad.  Truth be told, telling the truth is flipping scary--But when you aren't telling the truth you aren't being you, and when you aren't being you...YOU loses.  Agreeing for the sake of agreeing or the sake of an arguement has it's place, but if we aren't careful we can become a little too agreeable.  People like you for your view, what makes you different, makes you interesting.  We miss out on that when you aren't honest with yourself and us :(

        5.  Turn on the confidence

What does it take for you to feel hell yeah, hot and smart?  DO IT.  For me, running a group program, writing, putting on make up, playing dress up (sometimes even if I'm not going anywhere--it's hard on Block Island in the winter), breaking a sweat--these all make me feel good and strong.  They all lead to me being more decisive without second guessing myself, clear on my needs and wants, and super clear on how to express them.